I feel like the countdown just started.

I'm twenty, ten years to make something of yourself and see where life takes you.

I'm finally understanding nothingness. Haha If that makes sense? Like, for a long time I felt life was planned, you wake up, go to class, go out, come home, do homework, then sleep. But for once, I feel like I can choose what I need, and should do. And I really don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing, but at the end of it all I can only blame myself, and that's always been one of my biggest fears. Letting myself down. And even tho I might lead myself astray at times, or go no where, I think the only dissapointment I will ever have in my choices, is choosing to do nothing that I'd like to do, and forget my morals and standards. Maybe the only thing to fear, is that the only time I see fear, is in uncertainty, but uncertainty runs our lives, and maybe uncertainty is just what I need to finally look towards it and go, fuck it it wouldn't hurt to try right?

I'm starting to become nervous, and scared, and anxious.


Shit man, this is harder than I expected.